Ranting and Relieving
Ranting and Relieving
Stand By Me
On the season finale I want to share my support system with all my listeners, without whom I would not be here.
The reason I kept this as the last episode is to give my listeners enough time during our season break, to break all the walls that they have build around themselves and let their loved ones support them, while giving others a chance to lend their support to those who matter to them.
Tune in to hear for the first time my friends coming on board from various parts of world and sharing scoop, gossip and catch all their insights about me.
Podcast Episode 10
“Ho chandani jab tak raat,
Deta ha har koi saath,
Tum magar andheron mein,
Na chodhna mera haath”
Hello Hello. Welcome everyone to the season finale of ranting and relieving. I would not say I have no idea where did the time go, I clearly do, it’s been a challenge honestly to give words to my feelings. But I surely don’t know how I managed to pull this off, sharing my experiences with all of you while hopefully not boring you guys. Thank you for staying with me throughout.
Now this season would not be complete until I share with you my magic potion that has sailed me through. My support system, which I am super-duper blessed to have. I have got a whole squad cheering for me and today I will introduce you to each one of them. So, buckle up, you are in for a long ride.
Remember I told you how I completely isolated myself from the world when I lost Mr.K, it was during that time I truly realized how lucky I am to have found my magic beans in my friends and my brother who overnight became immensely mature and evolve from my little baby to my pillar of strength.
Yes, I am fortunate enough to have support from my “both” set of parents, and we all know our parents love us unconditionally and no matter what they always have your back. But it was really amazing to experience the unconditional love, support and strength I received from my friends and my baby brother, whom I leave no chance of sharing numerous hugs with, laughter, wrestle with him, yell at him and then, find it absolutely ok to barge in his room at 2 in the morning, who though 8 years younger to me, showed maturity beyond his age and ensured his sister finds her way back to life.
Now when it comes to my friends, they had no obligations to stick with me, they were facing numerous challenges in their own lives as well, yet they stayed throughout, my brother who was in his early teens could have been busy with his own friends, his own life, and he had his personal troubles yet he stood by me without me having to ask any of them to be there for me. Despite of me pushing them away so hard, trust me you have no idea, I can be a pain at times. But the harder I pushed, they bounced back even harder. Some resilience, I tell you.
I vividly remember the first time I went to shopping after all that happened. Mayank, my little brother for the first time ever in his life, took me out to the mall, sat outside the changing room, forced me to wear all kinds of fashionable clothes instead of the plain rags I was inclined towards buying. He was so adamant about it, that he didn’t let me step out of the store until I try all the pieces, he has chosen for me. He simply put his foot down and refused to have my say in buying all the neutral baggy clothes, which were making it hard for even me to recognize myself.
He was the one who made me step out of my bedroom and acted all strict while pampering alongside. He refused to give in my demands of dim room, meals in bed, no grooming at all and ensured that one by one I broke all the walls and step in the light once again. I don’t know when our sibling bond blossomed into friendship where no matter how embarrassed he gets, we can share and discuss anything, everything. So, a big part of me did a back flip when baby brother said he is proud of me! Hear it for yourself
Furthermore, while growing up we have been told that you can never choose your family members; you have to endure what you get. But friends are whom we choose and we cherish as life goes on, so choose wisely. Had it been for me, I would not have met these beautiful people because I take some time to open up but once I do, I am not leaving you ever. So, lucky for me all these super special people, my precious gems who chose me and decided to have crazy me, as their friend. All of them took the first step, all of them.
Apart from Mayank, my support system has my friends from school, my grad college, my fashion college, a very dear sister-in-law, whom I have always considered as my younger sister and even the friends of Mr.K who took me in like some long lost friend of their own.
I, Neha, Sidak and Poonam have been friends for more than 20-25 years now. From teasing Neha for her noodle like hair, to sharing Harry Potter updates with Sidak, we all grew inseparable while discussing which next guy has fallen for Poonam now. I was the first one among all my friends to get married and they were with me throughout. In 2015, we all were leading our different lives in different parts of country, the moment they got to know, in no time they were by my side. I remember Neha was herself injured at that time and yet they were all with me, holding me, sitting quietly beside me and wiping my tears. While so many people tagged me as a bad omen, Neha, Poonam and two other friends of mine (Alisha & Aditi) whom I will talk about later, ensured I don’t give in to such nonsense and they and their families made me a part of their wedding festivities.
All four of them scolded me for thinking otherwise for even a moment and I was included in all the rituals and ceremonies which a bride’s friend or sister performs and no matter how much I elaborate on that; I can’t express how I felt in those moments. I was touched, emotional, heart filled with immense love for each one of them. They are the reason I started going out for lunches, dinners and window shopping without giving any attention to naysayers. They helped me in finding that courage. And, I have asked all of them one question, while Neha complained of it being a tough question, she answered it as honestly as she can and believe me, she is brutally honest which I appreciate about her a lot. Let’s hear what the three of them have to say.
It’s time I talk about to you about a trio of lovely people whom I met during my college and were the first ones who were with me. Bhumija, Akshay and Garima. You can say Bhumija is not my friend, but she is my younger sister. I cannot stay angry with her for long, she is adorable. Though she is very talkative just like me, that day even she had no words and her tears won’t stop. When you truly have someone as your friend, it doesn’t matter how often you talk, what matters is that you know you can count on them and that’s the kind of relationship I share with her. I call her, “nanhe” with love and I will always count my blessings for having her God sent to me.
Akshay is my food partner, while he can easily enunciate anything food related, it’s very hard for him to express his own feelings. He is a softie, he cannot see people he love in pain and some people mistake him for being rude. But he is not. He is a soft fuzzy teddy bear, who held my hands throughout, said nothing yet said everything. He never asked anything in return but some delicious home cooked meal and also stole my best friend, Garima from me. Day after day she used to travel miles to be with me, checked with my parents, checked with me, made plans to take me out and was always strategizing to have me back. So, such answers were so expected when I reached out to them.
Now let me introduce another set of special friends of mine, Aman and Aditi. Both of them were Mr.K’s grad college friends and they have adopted me like their own child, they are extremely protective of me and I know they will never ever leave my side, no matter how crazy I get. When life was taking its test, and I refused to acknowledge anyone around me, it was Aman who nagged the hell out of me. Every morning 9 am, he would drop in a simple text of good morning. I ignored him/his messages for months altogether but that didn’t deter him. Aditi’s incessant phone calls to ensure my well-being, constantly checking on me while she was switching countries for personal reasons, ensured we never go out of sync. Aditi is life of any party and together her and Aman surely bring back energy to mine as well. Hear, what they have to say about some of the insane times we have had.
Some beautiful times indeed, which shall go on and on, as we move ahead together. My sister-in-law, or should I say sister, or my friend, Alisha is yet another gift from Mr.K. This woman introduced me to a world I never knew, spoke to me in a language which reached directly to my heart and has opened an altogether new realm for me. Right from the day 1, when I got introduced to the family of Mr.K, she has been my constant support in family. She vanished all my fears that I had associated with the phrase,”sister-in-law”. This person, took me on an impromptu international trip, which was supposed to be her solo trip to reminisce her last few single days and what beautiful 15 days were those. With her, I dropped all my inhibitions, danced on the streets of Amsterdam, roamed around Paris, attended music festivals in Spain and lived like a young Shefali again. After that trip, I have gained confidence that I am enough of a company for myself and if I can do this, I can do anything. I don’t know if she herself knows that how much she has motivated me. I am planning to take some major steps in 2021, which Mayank pushed me towards and this woman, though 8500 miles away, helped me throughout and at all possible odd hours. Alisha, you are cherished, Always! And so is that beautiful letter from Shanky bhaiya which helps me bounce back every once in a while. Needless to say but much needed, I love both of you.
And then my angels Divjyot aka DJ and Anjum, I refer to them as “my fashion friends”, because that’s where we meet, during my MS in Fashion Management. This is the same course my parents made me join after we lost Mr.K, Anjum’s madness and the spiritual side of DJ or the aries connection that I and him share made it possible for me to attend that college. Had they both not talk to me, I swear I was such a mess I would have missed the opportunity to have these insane people in my life.
I remember one day I didn’t go to college and it was Mr.K’s first death anniversary, DJ and Anjum came to my house, incessantly knocked at my bedroom door, and didn’t give up until I opened up. That’s the kind of support they lended to me. They both helped me in reconnecting back to life, while being their usual cheerful, colorful and loving selves.
Presence of all of them makes my life special and is a reminder of stars do exist. While Mr.K (my bestest friend, who knows the minutest details about me) is my north star, these all lit up my sky like no one else ever can. So, with this you all have met my cheer squad, my support system and as much as this episode gave you an insight about them, it was a wonderful delight for me as well. Because I knew they love me, but had no idea I mean so much to them.
This episode is to tell you know that whenever you are in self doubt, you don’t want anyone near you, remember behind that wall that you have built, there is someone who is cheering for you, even if you close all the doors, they will find a way and if they fail to do so, whenever you pass across that door, you will find your true supporters, your friends, your siblings, your loved ones waiting for you with a big wide grin. They just want you to open your arms and let them in. Give them a chance, give yourself a chance. Life is beautiful, more than you can ever imagine. Don’t mistake pitfalls for the end of world. Remember a winner is a loser, who tried one more time!
This brings us to the end of season finale of Ranting and Relieving. This episode was kept for finale to give you time to break those walls and step out of the mess you are in or, to give others a chance to be grateful for all that they have in life, or to many a food for thought of how to become a pillar of strength for those who need you, no matter how much they push you away. We have our reasons when I did so, I started believing that I am truly a curse and I will ruin their lives as well so yeah, I did what I did. So, hang on to your loved ones, don’t give up on them just yet. And to my superstars, I love all of you tonnes loads!
Before saying goodbyes for a season break, a news for all of you. I have received suggestions for a Hindi version of my podcast, which I am planning to do soon. So keep an eye on any updates about the same by following me on Instagram. My profile goes by @thescribbledsolace. Meanwhile, you can always stay in touch either at Instagram or via emailing me at thescribbledsolace@gmail.com. I will be back soon with another season, till then keep shining, be a reason for someone to smile every day and spread the word about Ranting and Relieving among your friends, family and colleagues. Honestly, I am nothing without your support. Gratitude and much love to all of you. This is me Shefali, signing off until next time.